Obviously, I have not written much on this site recently. I can assure you that it must be something big to compel me to break from the comfort of complacency. It is. In one way it rivals the Spanish Inquisition. It is . . . the comfy chair. O.K., so I was referring to Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition. Nonetheless, I never expect a comfy chair when I go shopping with my wife anymore. Trust me, its torture. When I go shopping with my wife, I encounter several styles of seating for the patient, bag carrying, husband or boyfriend. They range from the over-stuffed leather couch that seems to swallow you whole to the simple wooden chair that makes you long for the comfort of the folding chairs in your high school cafeteria. Unfortunately, more often than not, there is no seating and my patience is dependent on the comfort of my own two feet. If you work in women's store design, please start taking notes. If you are just another shopper's husband, know that I share your pain.
I'm not going to pretend I know why stores do or don't have seating. I've tried to figure it out, but the design, style, placement, and choice of seating are as consistent between retail chains as is the location of the men's bathroom in these same stores(There's another article idea). What I can tell you is what I would avoid and recommend if you are trying to keep a man comfortable long enough for his girlfriend or wife to buy an armful of your products.
Over-stuffed Chairs - You might as well put in a full bedroom set. These are downright sleep inducing. When I get tired, I get impatient. I would rather pace than risk snoring in public, or worse, a public drooling incident.
Couches - A big three cushion couch is acceptable if it isn't over-stuffed. If there are two or more men waiting, two men can easily share this space. Other men will have to fend for themselves. It should be noted that the male seating capacity of a couch is determined by the number of buffer cushions. There needs to be one large empty cushion between each adult male sitting on the couch, thus a three man couch will have at least five large cushions. The exception to this rule is if there is any sporting event on a TV within sight of the couch. In this case, you will find 5 men sitting on a 3 person couch. Heck, aren't the arms nothing more than elevated seats?
Love Seats - I don't care how comfortable they are, they don't belong in any women’s clothing store waiting area. A man will sit on the floor before being seen in a love seat with another man.
Wooden Chair – This may be O.K. if I need a place to sit while my wife is picking up some alterations, but it doesn’t cut it as a place of comfort. I’ll go sit in the food court if I want an uncomfortable chair.
No Seating - This is the most common, and the worst of all alternatives. Again, I’ll either pace, or try to find a clothing rack to lean on. It is not surprising, but when I’m leaning against a rack of clothes, women rarely look at the clothes on that rack. Two or three guys just hanging on your clothing racks are guaranteed to trim your sales by more than what their girlfriends are likely to buy.
So, why is a comfortable chair so important? A guy pacing around a women’s store will not only make the wife nervous, but every other woman as well. And the sleeping alternative isn’t any better, trust me, most women will leave the store before someone finds out the leaky chainsaw is with them. And, if the wife’s punch in the arm doesn’t wake the hibernating bear in the chair, you not only lose a shopper, but gain a zoo exhibit. Worst of all, if I’m not in the store when my wife walks out of the dressing room, she will wonder what I am up to. How can she focus on whether the color of the stitching on the blouse contrasts with the color of the buckle on those shoes she hasn’t worn since last spring? For all she knows my male urges could be leading me into trouble without her, like the Bose store, or Apple, or any other overpriced electronics shop in the mall.
Do you want to increase sales this year? Just put in a couple comfy chairs for the retail husbands who accompany your customers. We don’t care about the color of the chair, or the embellishments on it. We expect "frou frou" furniture in a women’s store. Just make it comfortable.
Before I wrap this up, I have a confession to make. Women’s stores have driven me to become a gadget geek. It’s true. I was about to go insane reading Vogue, Glamour, and Cosmo every weekend while my wife was trying on clothes. I found my salvation when I realized that I could play a game on my PDA, or read the news on my cell phone. For those who have not found their refuge in technology, stores should consider putting out a Sports Illustrated, Time Magazine, or even GQ on the reading stack. Hey, I've got to go, my wife just finished paying for her outfits, and I haven't even finished . . .
